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If you have faith and pray for each other, both of you will get through it together. You have to keep people out of your business. I love my husband to the fullest and I know he loves me too. 14 years together
How many nights has it been since you had a good night’s sleep? As much as we love our children, sometimes they interfere with getting in those 40 winks. While one or two nights of missed sleep probably won’t lead to marital disaster, repeated sleepless nights can take their toll. What do you do? How do you keep your marriage on track when the kids won’t sleep?
Be a Team: Life is hard (and when you aren’t sleeping can sometimes feel unbearable), but there is a huge silver lining here. Yep, you guessed it. You aren’t in this alone. You and your spouse are a team and if you put your heads together you can conquer anything. In fact, one of the best things about being a team is you can share the burden. So ask yourself. What can I do to help my spouse get a little extra sleep tonight? How can my spouse help me? If you tackle this issue head-on, you’ll come up with a workable plan. Maybe you’ll decide to take shifts each night. Or perhaps you and your spouse can alternate nights, meaning only one of you gets up to tend to a crying child. My husband and I took this approach and it made a world of difference. Obviously, it won’t ensure a perfect night’s sleep every night, but by working together and implementing a plan you can both live with, each of you ultimately should get more hours of sleep. And when you’re exhausted, trust me, that’s a big deal. Someday you’ll look back on this time of struggle with fondness as you celebrate years together and the beautiful children you’ve raised.
Make Time for Your Marriage: When you’re exhausted the last thing you want to think about is a date with your spouse, but that doesn’t make it any less important. You need to nourish your marriage all the time, not just when you’re feeling up to it. It’s easy to stay in love when things are easy; extra effort is more important when things are hard. When those late nights start to take their toll, it’s time to schedule some alone time with the one you love. A short dinner date, a catch-up conversation, even doing chores together may be just what you and your marriage need.
Make Time for Intimacy: Dating while married shouldn’t stop with dinner. Marital intimacy is a beautiful, unifying force, even when you’re exhausted. Make the time to express your physical affection for your spouse. It’s just as important to your marriage as sleep! Even just a stop by first or second base, if you get my drift, could do wonders for your marriage.
Sleep When They Sleep: When do your kids sleep? Do you go to bed when they do? Learn to take advantage of your children’s sleepy moments. Don’t stress about getting the house perfectly clean before heading to bed. If the kids are asleep and you’re exhausted, head to bed too. It’s easy to be frustrated with your spouse when you’re tired; getting a little more sleep will lead to better marital relations at home.
Don’t Forget to Say Thank You: Did your spouse wake up with the screaming baby so you could get a little extra sleep? Say thank you. These two small words can build love, appreciation, and teamwork in your marriage. You are never too tired to say thank you.
Seek Help: Sometimes it feels like your little family is alone in a big world of trials and stress. While your spouse is an excellent partner in the parenting game, they aren’t your only resource. Don’t be afraid to get help from outside parties when you need it. When it comes to children sleeping through the night, some potential sources for help include:
- A Trusted Pediatrician- Does your child’s doctor have any tips for increasing your child’s ability to sleep through the night? Struggling with sleep is a common childhood problem and a few simple changes to your routines and behaviors might make a big difference.
- An Experienced Parent- The struggles you have right now are common; other mothers and fathers know how you feel. Turn to experienced parents for advice, moral support, and encouragement. Ask couples with marriages you admire for advice about keeping the romance alive even when children won’t sleep.
- Maid Service or Babysitter- Do you need a little extra help with your kids? Sending them to a baby sitter or trusted friend for a few hours might give you the boost you need to be a happy parent and a loving spouse. Find the areas where you need extra help and get it. There is nothing wrong with not being able to do it all. Someone coming to clean the house once a week, a few dinners out, or a little help from a baby sitter can make all the difference.
Don’t Snap: This isn’t a tip you’re likely to perfect, especially when it’s 2 a.m. and you’re exhausted, but it is a good one to keep in mind. Be nice, even when you’re tired, and keep your snapping to a minimum. Harsh words have no place in a strong marriage. Remember that you and your partner are both doing your best. Kids are a struggle and can take their toll on a great marriage, but when you work together through the hard times, your children will be an asset to your marriage. Instead of hurting your spouse with a sarcastic remark, just take a moment to your self. Luckily even when you forget, “I’m sorry” can do wonders for hurt feelings.
If you’re exhausted from lack of sleep, you’re not alone. Parents around the world know the struggle of sleepless nights. Don’t let a lack of sleep interfere with your marriage. With your spouse and a good attitude, you can get through anything, together.
Our marriage ROCKS because we have survived the greatest tests, struggles, and set backs that have ended most marriages; however, by the grace of God, we have decided to stand! We have been married for 23 years in December 2014. We have withstood a miscarriage, losing a home, losing parents and the trials that come from being married to a gospel musician. But God! What we would like to tell the world is "If God is the center of your marriage, you can make through whatever storm that you face!"