By: Abigale Hassel Before I get started with this discussion, let me just say that I have wonderful in-laws. They respect our boundaries. They never insert their opinions unless we ask for them. They never say a bad word about anyone and they are always there when we need them. Most importantly, my mother- in-law always takes my side. In all seriousness, I am very lucky, but a lot of people are not as lucky as I. We all hear in-law jokes. The in-law issue can make for hysterical comedy. “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” just happens to be one of my favorite movies and it deals with overbearing in-laws. While it can be funny, it can also cause a lot of problems within the marital relationship. If you are having in-law issues, I hope the following suggestions help. Be a united front: Just as a couple must be a united front with the children, the same holds true for the in-laws. I will use a family member’s situation as an example. For the sake of anonymity, I will not specify which family member. So the wife married into a very overbearing family. From the planning of the wedding, her husband’s family tried to dictate the terms. It continued through their marriage. It eroded to the point where it negatively impacted the relationship. He never stood up for his wife to his family and then he started to talk about her behind her back to his family, which only added…
By: Abigale Hassel As a modern woman and wife, I have struggled with the concept of submitting to my husband. As a young wife, I had an attitude of independence. I made it clear to my husband that he did not “own me” and I commanded respect. The funny thing was, he always respected me. I never needed to command that. As I matured, as I grew in my faith and as my husband and I worked through some relationship issues over the years, I realized I needed an attitude adjustment. It was time for me to learn how to submit and surrender to my husband. I am not going to lie; I had difficulty. Truth be told, my husband still has difficulty with the concept, because he never thought of me as anything other than an equal. Moreover, there were times he looked to me to be the problem solver and to take the lead in certain situations. He never wanted to be the “head of the household”. He wanted the king and queen of the castle to have equal power, and we do. So now let us look at what submission means. What submission is: The Bible has much to say about submitting, both throughout the old and the new testaments. I am referencing the Bible simply to give a foundation of support for the concept of submitting and surrendering, which I will use interchangeably, within the marital relationship. I believe that even if you are not Jewish…
By: Abigale Hassel I need to start this discussion with a couple of disclaimers. Firstly, feminists may not want to read any further, because I will be reinforcing the notion that men and women are in fact different and some may consider this to be politically incorrect. I am far from PC. Consider yourself warned. Secondly, there are always exceptions to the rules. Men can have more feminine traits, while women can have more masculine traits. The purpose of this discussion is to help married couples understand one another more. Having said that, let us now look at the many ways men and women are different. 1) We think differently. I once read the perfect description of how the minds of men and women operate. Bill and Pam Farrel wrote that men think in boxes, while women think like a plate of spaghetti. That basically means that men tend to compartmentalize. They put things in figurative boxes and think about one thing at a time. Sometimes, they file the box away and avoid thinking about certain things. This can account for how our husbands sometimes forget things that seem easy enough to remember. Women, on the other hand, think like a plate of spaghetti. Think about that for a second. A plate of spaghetti consists of many, many noodles overlapping. Sometimes, one noodle may not be distinguishable from another. It is a pile of jumbled mess. In other words, we women think about several things all at once. We do…
By: Davida Brown We all know that marriage is all about compromise, about give and take. And we all know that this concept is often easier said than done. Most of us have the best intentions. We enter marriage ready to roll up our sleeves and put in the “work” everyone talks about. We’re ready to let our spouse have his or her way, if it’s best for the union. But what about when you just don’t feel like it? Even the best marriages experience those days. Well folks, that’s when you really have to put your money where your mouth is. And, when you do so the reward can be more than you ever dreamed. Last Friday, I had one of those days. I woke up late, which meant I was behind schedule getting the kids ready for school and out the door. Traffic was a beast, so I was already in a not so good mood when I entered the office. Not to mention, my throat was scratchy, which meant a cold was on the way. I battled through the day, dealing with fire drill after fire drill at work. My husband was getting the kids, so I had an hour or so to spare after work. Given the day I’d just had, I decided to get a manicure. I thought it would relax me and provide a much needed pick me up. Well, not so much. I visited my tried and true nail salon and luckily there…
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