“For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health….” We all said these words or some version thereof in our marriage vows. Many couples don’t really get what these words mean and how instructive they are. Having problems in your marriage? Of course you are. For better or for worse means that there will be good times and bad times in marriage, i.e. problems. Richer or poorer means that you may have financial issues in your marriage, i.e. problems. Sickness and in health means you or your spouse may become seriously ill during the marriage, i.e. problems. Here’s a little tough love. Problems are part of marriage. It's what you signed up for. Here’s the good news. No problem is bigger than your marriage. I know we all hope for the itty bitty ones, but at some point, we all experience the big Kahuna. The problem of all problems. The one you can’t imagine getting through. Well, you can. “You don’t know my circumstances,” you may be thinking. “You don’t know how much he hurt me,” you may be screaming. True. My response to both is, “Is that problem bigger than your marriage?” My husband and I have had some HURRICANES during our relationship and marriage: cheating, lying, death of parents, baby momma drama, and the near death of our daughter. Some of these issues were happening at the same time and, putting it nicely, we were ill-prepared. Honestly, there was a point in time when…
Most of us wake up every morning next to our spouse. In today’s busy world, we jump out of bed and proceed with our daily routine. If at all possible, we squeeze in time with our spouse. Maybe we make time for coffee or breakfast together, send a few texts or make a few calls throughout the day, or snuggle together before bed. We go to sleep and the next morning we do it all over again. This is the norm for married couples. Nothing unique, right? So many wives and husbands wake up every morning without their spouse. So many go days, weeks even months without seeing, smelling, touching, or feeling their spouse. So many would do anything to have what we take for granted -- a daily opportunity to be with their spouse. This reality hit me over the head a few days ago. I was having a pedicure and I initiated a discussion with the technician. She’s from Vietnam and has been in the US for about a year. She noticed my ring and shared that she too was married, but her husband is still in Vietnam. She said she hasn’t seen him in person in well over a year and really misses him. She often cries herself to sleep at night, wishing he was here. I had to fight to hold back my tears. I see my husband every day. I can’t imagine going days without seeing him, let alone a year. Just the thought made…
By: Davida Brown We all have those moments with our spouse that we wish would never end. Maybe it’s a romantic getaway. Maybe it’s simply a night at home together without the kids. Memories of those times warm us from head-to-toe. But don’t you find that it’s those unexpected moments that grab you the most, those moments that remind you why you married your spouse? This morning, I had one of those moments. It was 6 a.m. I had another 30 minutes before I had to get up and start my busy morning routine. I was exhausted. My husband, a law enforcement officer, had been working nonstop for the last two weeks because of all the protests in DC surrounding the Ferguson and NY decisions. That meant I had to do everything at the house, drop off and pick up the kids, work my fulltime job, feed and bathe the kids, etc. Another 30 minutes, Thank God! I heard my husband enter the house. Shortly thereafter, he got into bed. I knew he was beyond tired. He’d just finished a double shift. As I snuggled next to him, I heard a noise in the bathroom. Simone, I surmised. She decided to use my bathroom. Seconds later, my nostrils were accosted by the smell of poop. Simone is known for having monstrous poops and this obviously was one of those. I couldn’t begin to imagine what would follow. “Mommy, mommy,” my 4-year old said as she approached my bed. “My underwear…
By: Consuela Parsons We have all been surprised a time or two by a marriage crisis that pops up around us. Those times when a friend confides in us about things not going so well with their spouse and marriage. But, often it hits really hard when a couple you know announces a divorce or separation. Sometimes one spouse didn’t even see it coming…. My husband and I experienced a crisis in our marriage several years ago and I didn’t see it coming. After working through it and really processing it, there were signs – but nothing that really caught our attention until it was too late. In today’s society what is “normal” in marriage can lead to a crisis. It is normal to fight, it is normal to talk down to your spouse, it is normal to have friends of the opposite sex… You get the point. I am here to tell you some things aren’t normal even if “everyone” is doing it. Here are a few things to watch out for as a wife. Sarcasm, down talking, snarkiness and just being plain harsh! If you are speaking to your husband in these tones and have no guilt about it, you need to check your attitude. It may seem “normal” to join in when your girlfriends are talking about all the stupid things their husbands do, but do you really want to tear down your husband like that? You might say “He can’t hear it” – but YOU do…
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