By Davida Brown There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything. Yes there are 1440 minutes in every day, but I swear they’re all taken with things that HAVE to get done. We’re not rich. We can’t hire help. My husband and I are doing every thing we can to stay above water and get the basic needs of our family met. We want a “date night” and all the “quality time” other couples talk about, but there’s just no time. Is this you? Are you struggling with fitting in quality, one-on-one time with your spouse because of everything else you have going on? Don’t fret. You are not alone. I certainly get it. I too have lots on my plate. I’m a wife, I’m a practicing, full-time attorney, I have 2 kids under five, I’m a marriage coach, I have daily house chores and I’m writing my fourth book. With everything going on, it’s a challenge to find time every day, and I mean “quality” time every day for my husband. Here’s what I did. A Practical Daily Routine –You’ve probably heard a million times that creating a daily routine with your spouse will ensure you have quality time together and remain connected. That’s all well and good when you have time, but what if you don’t have any? I was in that boat. So instead of carving out time, I incorporated our quality time into activities that I already have to do. Every day, my…
Communication in marriage is like blood to the body, essential. Learning your communication style and how to effectively communicate with your spouse is a must for a marriage to work, thrive and last a lifetime. Here's a great article on how the lack of communication can break a marriage and what you can do about it. Communication Breakdown and the Great Marital Divide: How Communication, or Lack Thereof, Can Make or Break a Marriage Communication, in my humble opinion, is the backbone of a marriage. This is the foundation, along with love, of course, that supports every other aspect of a marriage, from emotional intimacy, to physical intimacy and to loving in a real and genuine way. This does not mean merely talking. As we all know, we can talk AT our spouses and not necessarily to our spouses. We need to really listen to what our spouses are telling us. As a therapist, I have seen time and time again that the bulk of marital issues find their genesis in communication breakdown. The solution to many marital issues is both complex and simple; it is learning the skill of communication. We hear our spouse every day, but do we listen? What else is the focus of your attention? So many of us hear words coming out of our spouses’ mouths, but we are watching TV, we are creating a shopping list in our heads, or we are worrying about the children, the bills or our jobs. Sure, all of…
By: Brie Gowen My eyes fell again this morning on the package obviously displayed on the kitchen counter. To me it seemed to stick out like a sore thumb, and I remembered what I had felt when I first saw it last night, sitting there forgotten. I had been perturbed, honestly, and I wondered how it had gotten left behind. The girls had attended a birthday party while I was away at work, and in my absence my spouse had been responsible for getting them to the affair. Yet somehow he had missed taking the birthday girl her package I had painstakingly purchased and prepared. What am I going to do with my husband?! I laid out perfect party dresses complete with matching hair bows and shoes, but when I received a picture of my precious toddler my first thought was where is her cute, pink bow?! So really, what was I to do about my husband?! What was I to do about a man who still left his dirty socks shoved up under my couch, or who thought a pony tale was the go-to hairstyle for little girls on Sunday? What was I to do about a man who left hairs in the sink after shaving, and forgot to set his alarm to make it to church on time? Well, I did the only thing I knew to do. I looked past the forgotten gift bag on the counter, and my eyes found my sleeping man. He was passed…
By: Davida Brown If you answered yes, you are R E A D Y to jump start your marriage in 2015, then how about showing some gratitude? We all know that gratitude is great, but could it really improve or even save your marriage? Experts seem to think so. The act of being grateful changes the way you see the world, and also how others see you. A grateful heart isn’t as easy to cultivate. Yes, it is easy to appreciate what you have when things are going well, but as we all know, life is full of bumps and those good times are often followed by some real struggles. To be truly grateful, we must cultivate feelings of appreciation at all times, when things are easy and when things are hard. Are you ready to give gratitude a try in your marriage? Start today and see what changes you can create. To give you some ideas for getting started, we’ve found a few areas to focus your gratitude. Start with one and add in the others as you get in the habit. Fostering Gratitude for Your Spouse Think back to the early days of your relationship with your spouse. What did you admire about them? In the early stages of a relationship we tend to focus on the good and overlook the bad in a person. As time moves on, this focus shifts. The person you are with remains the same, but it becomes easier to see what your…
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