By: Abigale Hassel When people marry, they believe they are in love and they believe they know what love is. Unfortunately, many have a very poor understanding of what true, unconditional love is and fewer actually give unconditional love to their spouses. So, now you may be asking what unconditional love is. Let us examine 1 Cor 13: 4-13 (Complete Jewish Bible translation) to fully grasp the love we are meant to have and the love we are meant to share. “Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered.” Woa, right off the bat that is a tough one! How many of us have treated our spouse with disrespect? We yell; we argue, and we want to win the argument. So many spouses forget that they are not each other’s adversaries or each other’s enemies. We need to remember that our spouse is our teammate. We are on the same side. Marriage is not supposed to be a competition. We are meant to support one another and build each other up, not tear each other down. Marriage is supposed to be the safe harbor in the storm, not the storm itself. “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” This is forgiveness. Have you ever heard the saying by Ruth Bell Graham, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”? Can I get an amen? We always need to have forgiveness in our hearts for our spouses, for both the little…
By: Davida Brown Yesterday, I watched two incredible teams battle it out for the Super Bowl Championship. And it was a battle. The first half was all about the Patriots. But in the final minute before halftime, the Seahawks came roaring back, tying the game at 14. In the second half, the 3rd quarter was the Seahawks all the way. They went up by 10 and I really thought it was over for the Patriots. But Tom Brady, quarterback for the Patriots, wasn't having it. He marched his team down the field twice, getting two touch downs and taking the lead, 28-24. I wondered, is it over? Not hardly. The Seahawks battled back, driving to the one yard line. In the last few seconds of the game, Russell Wilson threw an interception, sealing the win for the Patriots. After the game, I was full of excitement and emotion. I thought about how much work and effort those athletes put into the season, taking it game-by-game, doing their best to get an opportunity to play in the big show. I wondered, how many couples are putting in that same Herculean effort in their marriage? How many are taking the ups and downs? How many are tackling the adversity they’re given, and battling through it? How many couples are, when there seems to be no end in sight to the drama or no way to turn things around, digging in their heels and continuing to fight for their marriage? How many? There…
By: Simone Boyd Over the past few days, I’ve found myself defending my introvert husband from my family when he doesn’t show up to one of the millions of family gatherings, basketball games, or social commitments that are thrust upon us. And questions like “Where’s Morris?” “Why didn’t he come to the basketball game (insert raised eyebrow)?” and “Does Morris like us?” are beginning to annoy me. The Secret of Introvert Relationships The secret is this: introverts and extroverts charge their batteries in different ways. Introverts get energy from being alone. Extroverts get energy from being around people. And if we don’t make allowances for each other…we both end up drained. So while my husband loves me, my family, and friends dearly…being around a ton of people is draining. I learned this earlier in our marriage when I dropped a last minute BBQ on his plate and was hit with the almost-silent treatment. The Introvert Solution The good news is that you can avoid giving your introvert a dead battery with proper planning. Morris and I have come up with some solutions for balancing the needs of introverts and extroverts. And, I want to share them with you. The Social Calendar At the beginning of the month we make a calendar with all of our social commitments i.e. dinner parties, bar mitzvahs, BBQ’s etc. And we decide what events are a priority…it helps my introvert to know waaaaay in advance that we have a social commitment. Give your introvert plenty…
By: Davida Brown So today is my husband’s birthday. I love celebrating him and the fact that he’s seen another year on this earth. I love celebrating all the milestones he’s achieved. I love hearing about all the things he’s looking forward to in the next year. I love hearing about his dreams for himself. I love hearing and talking about all the possibilities for him. As I reflect on our conversations, I can’t help but think about the possibilities for our marriage. When we were dating and early in our marriage, we spent hours talking about our future and our dreams. We talked about what we wanted for ourselves, what we wanted for us. I loved those conversations, because they reflected such an optimistic view of our future. They made me feel like no dream for us was too big. They made me feel like we could get through anything together because we believed in us and that there would always be an us. I suspect most of you reading this post once felt the same. Oh those possibilities. But, alas, time moves on and those possibilities seem to vanish into thin air. All the stuff you have to do every day takes front and center. All the baggage from stuff you’ve been through with your spouse and have not let go stay in the mix. Possibilities? Many of you are trying to survive marriage, to get through the here and now. Possibilities? They’re off the table. But what…
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