How I Saved My Marriage

Vida Brown
Someone shared this blog post with me and it really touched me. So many couples are dealing with how to save their marriage. If that's you, I hope Richard's story will encourage and inspire you. How I Saved My Marriage By: Richard Paul Evans (Dedicated to my sweetheart.) My oldest daughter, Jenna, recently said to me, “My greatest fear as a child was that you and mom would get divorced. Then, when I was twelve, I decided that you fought so much that maybe it would be better if you did.” Then she added with a smile. “I’m glad you guys figured things out.” For years my wife Keri and I struggled. Looking back, I’m not exactly sure what initially drew us together, but our personalities didn’t quite match up. And the longer we were married the more extreme the differences seemed. Encountering “fame and fortune” didn’t make our marriage any easier. In fact, it exacerbated our problems. The tension between us got so bad that going out on book tour became a relief, though it seems we always paid for it on re-entry. Our fighting became so constant that it was difficult to even imagine a peaceful relationship. We became perpetually defensive, building emotional fortresses around our hearts. We were on the edge of divorce and more than once we discussed it. I was on book tour when things came to a head. We had just had another big fight on the phone and Keri had hung up on…
By: Abigale Hassel When people marry, they believe they are in love and they believe they know what love is. Unfortunately, many have a very poor understanding of what true, unconditional love is and fewer actually give unconditional love to their spouses. So, now you may be asking what unconditional love is. Let us examine 1 Cor 13: 4-13 (Complete Jewish Bible translation) to fully grasp the love we are meant to have and the love we are meant to share. “Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered.” Woa, right off the bat that is a tough one! How many of us have treated our spouse with disrespect? We yell; we argue, and we want to win the argument. So many spouses forget that they are not each other’s adversaries or each other’s enemies. We need to remember that our spouse is our teammate. We are on the same side. Marriage is not supposed to be a competition. We are meant to support one another and build each other up, not tear each other down. Marriage is supposed to be the safe harbor in the storm, not the storm itself. “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” This is forgiveness. Have you ever heard the saying by Ruth Bell Graham, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”? Can I get an amen? We always need to have forgiveness in our hearts for our spouses, for both the little…
By: Davida Brown Yesterday, I watched two incredible teams battle it out for the Super Bowl Championship. And it was a battle. The first half was all about the Patriots. But in the final minute before halftime, the Seahawks came roaring back, tying the game at 14. In the second half, the 3rd quarter was the Seahawks all the way. They went up by 10 and I really thought it was over for the Patriots. But Tom Brady, quarterback for the Patriots, wasn't having it. He marched his team down the field twice, getting two touch downs and taking the lead, 28-24. I wondered, is it over? Not hardly. The Seahawks battled back, driving to the one yard line. In the last few seconds of the game, Russell Wilson threw an interception, sealing the win for the Patriots. After the game, I was full of excitement and emotion. I thought about how much work and effort those athletes put into the season, taking it game-by-game, doing their best to get an opportunity to play in the big show. I wondered, how many couples are putting in that same Herculean effort in their marriage? How many are taking the ups and downs? How many are tackling the adversity they’re given, and battling through it? How many couples are, when there seems to be no end in sight to the drama or no way to turn things around, digging in their heels and continuing to fight for their marriage? How many? There…
By: Simone Boyd Over the past few days, I’ve found myself defending my introvert husband from my family when he doesn’t show up to one of the millions of family gatherings, basketball games, or social commitments that are thrust upon us. And questions like “Where’s Morris?” “Why didn’t he come to the basketball game (insert raised eyebrow)?” and “Does Morris like us?” are beginning to annoy me. The Secret of Introvert Relationships The secret is this: introverts and extroverts charge their batteries in different ways. Introverts get energy from being alone. Extroverts get energy from being around people. And if we don’t make allowances for each other…we both end up drained. So while my husband loves me, my family, and friends dearly…being around a ton of people is draining. I learned this earlier in our marriage when I dropped a last minute BBQ on his plate and was hit with the almost-silent treatment. The Introvert Solution The good news is that you can avoid giving your introvert a dead battery with proper planning. Morris and I have come up with some solutions for balancing the needs of introverts and extroverts. And, I want to share them with you. The Social Calendar At the beginning of the month we make a calendar with all of our social commitments i.e. dinner parties, bar mitzvahs, BBQ’s etc. And we decide what events are a priority…it helps my introvert to know waaaaay in advance that we have a social commitment. Give your introvert plenty…
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