By: Davida Brown
Every marriage is cyclical. There are times when all the stars are in alignment. You and your spouse are in total sync. Everything you want for yourself and each other seems to happen with ease. The “for better” part of marriage is so very sweet. But at some point, the tide changes. The sunny days of your marriage become a bit overcast. And at some point, it will seem as if you’re in a downward spiral. Nothing goes your way, you and your spouse are at each other’s throat, or life throws a huge monkey wrench into your life. Yep, that’s the “for worse.”
Roughly 6-months ago, we learned that my husband has cancer. Needless to say, we were in total shock. My husband is the healthiest person I know. How could he get cancer. Well, he did and once we educated ourselves on his particular type of cancer, we understood that his healthy diet and lifestyle were irrelevant. Armed with knowledge, a very attentive medical team, and the Great I Am, we began to fight the disease together.
The diagnosis, however, was just the beginning of our “for worse.” His surgery and intense chemotherapy has sapped the life out of him. The happy-go-lucky days we shared are no more. It takes every bit of his energy to get out of bed each day and live life. His decreased presence has impacted our marriage enormously. Not only do we spend less time together -- his fatigue requires that he rest many hours each day -- but the many responsibilities my husband has are now borne by me. And it’s been tough. Rough. Frustrating. Exhausting.
But my husband and I are people of great faith. We know that nothing happens without God allowing it to happen. So there is a reason for this season we are in. There’s a reason for the “for worse” we’re experiencing. So rather than having a pity party (truthfully, I already had it), we choose to live every day to the fullest as best we can; to praise and honor God in the midst of our storm; to put our trust in God that things will work out, according to His will; to continue blessing and ministering to other couples.
We don’t know what’s going to happen. We pray his treatments work and that he’ll soon be cancer-free. Whatever the outcome, we’re in it together. I have his back and will be there for him through it all. It’s what I signed up for. It’s part of what loving my spouse means. It’s embracing the “for worse” and not letting it control or defeat me or us.
If you too are in a rough period, understand that it’s just for a season. God will never allow you to be burdened with more than you can handle. Trust Him completely, for He will not fail you. Wake up each day with an attitude of moving forward. Remember, “for better” is right around the corner.