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Yes I'm on Fire for my marriage. How do I STAY there?

 

“Are you on FIRE for marriage? We are.” Catchy, right?  My husband and I always lead with this phrase during our interviews.  But what does it really mean?  And maybe even more importantly, if we’re on FIRE for marriage, how do we stay there during the challenging times?

Being “on FIRE” for marriage is a very personal thing.  When we ask couples what it means, we get a variety of responses. Some say, “it means I really love my spouse and I want the world to know.”  Others say, “it means my marriage is a priority and I’ll do anything to make it work.”  Or, “it means I’m an ambassador for marriage.”  The beauty of our catchphrase is it means all these things.  It can be as broad or as narrow as you want it to be.  So long as you celebrate marriage, you too can say, “I’m on FIRE for marriage.” 

That’s all well and good, you may be thinking, but how the heck do you stay there?  There probably isn’t a couple out there that hasn’t experienced the highs of being married.  Just think back to your wedding day.  Like most couples, you were probably overwhelmed with emotion and love.  Marrying the one person you believe you can’t live without is an AMAZING feeling.  But what happens when the novelty of being married wears off?  What happens when you’re hit with your first “tsunami” of disagreements that for an instant sends you emotionally and mentally running for the hills?  What happens when the person you thought you knew so well, makes a 180-degree turn, leaving you feeling as if you married a stranger. Not feeling so “on FIRE” then, are we?

Never fear, there’s a way to remain on fire, even during the valleys of marriage.  For us, the right mentality + a marital plan for success + extra love touches = a marriage that thrives during the peaks and valleys of marriage.    

Right Mentality. Staying on fire for marriage is largely a mental exercise.  If you want a marriage that ROCKS, the choices you make should work in tandem to make it a reality.  Yes I love my husband more than almost anything, but that won’t guarantee us a successful marriage.  We have to divorce-proof our marriage, and that really starts with our mentality.  We mentally choose to be together for always.  We mentally choose to put in the effort to make our marriage work, knowing that the fruits of our labor will exceed the effort in spades.  We mentally choose to remove the “I” from our thoughts and words, replacing it with “we.” With these mental choices, my husband and I have put ourselves in the best position to move our marriage forward during difficult times.  Now the only question is, how do we actually do that?

Marital Plan. A marital plan for success is key.  It’s marriage 101, right?  But you’d be surprised at how many couples navigate marriage flying by the seat of their pants, tackling issues with no rhyme or reason.  Is it possible to have a ROCKIN marriage without a plan? I’m sure it is possible.  But why take the chance?  Marrying your spouse was one of the most important decisions you’ll make in life. Take the proper steps to ensure its longevity.

While every couple’s plan will be different, each should, at a minimum, address these five areas:

  • Commitment – Are you and your spouse aligned in your commitment and dedication to your marriage?  Is divorce an option?

 

  • Effective Communication – Do you listen to understand or listen to respond? During an argument, do you communicate in ways that ensure your spouse receives your message?  What are the typical barriers to communication and understanding in your marriage?  Do you respect and value your spouse’s opinion?

 

  • Conflict Resolution – How do you handle disagreements?  Is it in the moment or after a time of reflection? What are your roles during conflict? What happens when you’re at an impasse?  Is there an ultimate decision-maker when you can’t agree?  How do you ensure the resolution moves your marriage forward?

 

  • Financial Management – Have you and your spouse disclosed all income and expenses? How do you handle your finances?  Do you have a budget? Is that budget practical? What are your individual roles in managing bills and discretionary spending? 

 

  • Intimacy – This includes emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy.  Do you understand what your intimacy needs are? Do you understand your spouse’s? Is quality time together to cement, maintain, and deepen your connection with your spouse a priority?

I’ve just scratched the surface here.  There are many more issues in each of these areas that require discussion.  To implement a successful marital plan, you and your spouse must work together and have many open and honest discussions.  Don’t reinvent the wheel here.  There are a plethora of marriage-related resources out there to guide your discussions and help you implement a plan.  For us, God is a huge part of our lives, so we made a commitment to implement a marital plan that would align with Christian principles.  Christian-based marriage retreats and marriage-enrichment videos and CDs have been invaluable to us.  Yes, it’s taken a lot of effort to develop our plan and frankly it’s still a work in progress, but there’s so much comfort in knowing that we can turn to and use our plan during difficult times.  It truly is our guidebook.  I can’t stress how critical it is for you to do the same.

Extra Love Touches.  This last component, “the extra touches”, is the most fun in our view.  It’s the whipped cream and cherry on top.  We all know, or should know, what really gets our partner going, sending them into overdrive in the very best of ways.  To have a marriage that not only works, but ROCKS, you need to put in those extra touches every now and then, and especially during a challenging time in your marriage. Surprise or treat your spouse with the things that you know will have them bouncing off the walls with excitement for you and your marriage.  

So now I ask, “Are you STILL on FIRE for marriage?” We hope our strategies will help you answer with a resounding, “YES!” 

Vida Brown

Are you on fire for marriage? We are. Join our movement. Together, let's tell the world, show the world that MarriageROCKS!!!!!!

Website: yesmarriagerocks.com

2 comments

  • Kelvin Comment Link
    Kelvin
    Friday, 24 January 2020
    This is a testimony about the good work of a man who helped me make my marriage work again. My wife just suddenly hate sex we tried all method non work it became so bad that she had to move out with the kids 12 years and 3 months of marriage. I had to seek for help outside the box, On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for solution I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster called Dr.Wealthy Some people testified that he brought their Ex back, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce. Etc. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called Maria Jose from Atlanta, USA who testified about how Dr.Wealthy brought back her husband in less than 72 hours that got me intrigue. After reading all these,I decided to give Dr.Wealthy a try I contacted him and explained my problem to him. In just 6 days, my wife did not only came back to me but she now love sex and she is no longer scared of it. Dr.Wealthy is really a gifted man and i will not stop talking about him because he is a wonderful man. If you have any problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you Dr.Wealthy is the answer to your problem.

    Here’s his contact.. wealthylovespell@gmail.com or +2348105150446.
  • Kathleen Decker Comment Link
    Kathleen Decker
    Friday, 26 July 2019
    I want to use this opportunity to share the good works of Dr. Odunga who brought my husband back to me from another woman in 2 days. His email is odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and his WhatsApp contact is +2348167159012.

    The day my husband left me, things appeared bleak, and the atmosphere was heavy with uncertainties. Everything seemed pale and so I decided to look for help in spell casters who have the capability to bring my ex husband back to me. As envisaged, I went on the internet and as you too have seen in your search for a reliable spell caster, I saw a lot of testimonies of spell casters in the recovery of ex husbands and loved ones. Driven by belief in Doctor Odunga, I contacted him and after explaining things to him, he accepted to face the challenges on ground. He did brilliantly well. My ex husband came back to me within 2 days of contact with more care and affection and promised never to leave me. I will therefore like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to him and share this testimony to enable others in need to contact him for his selfless service to situations and problems. Commendable, he shows great courage at taking on the daunting task of finding solutions to practically any given problem. Contact him at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com and I believe he won't fail you too.
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