For a Thriving Marriage, Remove Your Mask

By:  Davida Brown 

Halloween is fast approaching.  With the day falling on a weekend, there seems to be even more excitement in the air.  My daughter is over-the-moon, waiting for the opportunity to wear her princess outfit and transform into someone completely different, at least for one evening.  As I listened to the various radio personalities talk about the upcoming masquerade parties in the area and unique costume ideas, I started thinking about masks.  Sure, they’re fun to wear for a night, or for a special event, but what about the masks that so many of us wear day-to-day as we go about our daily activities?  What about the masks that we wear in our marriage, keeping us from being the best spouse we can be? 

A mask is defined as “a covering worn on the face to conceal one’s identity.”  But isn’t it really more than that?  Yes, a mask can cover one’s face, but can’t it also cover one’s heart, one’s emotions, one’s thoughts, keeping them hidden from a spouse?  And if so, how do we (1) recognize that it’s there and (2) get rid of it.

Recognize it: This seems easy and intuitive, right?  We generally know when we’re putting up a front, or hiding behind our thoughts and emotions.  But what about those instances when we don’t proactively decide to wear a mask?  You know those times when the mask sort of develops and takes shape over time due to life experiences that we don’t address head on.  Sometimes we wear a mask – an itsy bitsy small one – and don’t even realize it’s there until one day it’s no longer just a mask, but a full costume.  So how do we nip this in the bud?  Here are a couple of my tips.

  • Self-evaluation:  It is extremely important in marriage, or any relationship for that matter, to periodically do a self-assessment.  Ask yourself if you’re able to be yourself in the relationship?  Consider whether the way you interact with your spouse has changed in any material way.  For example, are you able to be as vulnerable as you once were?  Are you able to share your innermost thoughts like you used to?  Answering these questions will help you identify if there are any barriers you have that are blocking your ability to fully connect with your spouse.

 

  • Ask your spouse:  Sometimes we change in ways that aren’t readily apparent to us.  Check in with your spouse.  Periodically ask your spouse if he or she believes the two of you are fully connected.  Ask him or her to identify any areas where they’ve seen a lack of connection or intimacy.  Then, take that information and self-evaluate.  You may be wearing a mask, perhaps your spouse is, or perhaps there’s some other cause.  These exercises will help you figure it out.

 

Get rid of it:  This is easier said than done.  A mask is “protection gear” in a sense, and once there it can take effort to remove.  But don’t fret, you can do it.  Here’s how I do it.

  • Figure out the underlying cause:  You can’t know how to fix it unless you identify and tackle the root cause.  If, for example, you are now incapable of sharing your inner most thoughts with your spouse, determine why.  Something happened that caused you to retreat.  Was it something your spouse said or did, or perhaps your interpretation of  the acts of your spouse or a third party.  If you can’t pinpoint it, it may be a series of small things that led you to creating the mask.  Don’t hesitate to engage your spouse in the discovery process.  Ultimately, removal of the mask will inure to the benefit of both of you and your marriage.

 

  • Take proactive steps to address it:  Once you’ve identified the cause of the mask, it’s time to develop and implement specific action steps to address it so that you’ll be able to remove the mask.  If your spouse’s words or actions have contributed to the mask, discuss what you both can do to minimize those actions.  It could mean a tweak in how or when you communicate, how you handle your marital obligations and responsibilities, etc.  Then follow through with implementation.  If you can’t figure out an action plan together, enlist assistance from a marriage coach, counselor or therapist.  It’s worth it.

 

Marriage is a journey and it requires teamwork.  If there are barriers in your relationship, there's no time like the present to tackle them head on. Masks are best left for masquerades and other events.  Let's leave them there.

Vida Brown

Are you on fire for marriage? We are. Join our movement. Together, let's tell the world, show the world that MarriageROCKS!!!!!!

Website: yesmarriagerocks.com

13 comments

  • Gina Kelvin Comment Link
    Gina Kelvin
    Wednesday, 29 September 2021
    My husband packed out of the house to live with another woman who he met at work and he sent me divorce papers. I did not want divorce because I love my husband very much and I don't want my family to break apart. I suspected the woman used a spell to tie my husband so he cannot return to his family. I was searching for tips on how to win my husband back and i come across a comment which says Dr Jumba helped her to recover her husband back after several months of breakup and i took the email of Dr Jumba that was present on the comment and emailed him about my problem and he replied back to me and help me to recover my husband back within two days and right now my husband is back with me and he is even more loving than before. You can also contact Dr Jumba for help on his email: wiccalovespelltools@gmail.com or you can call and whatsapp him on +19085174108. Dr Jumba is the best spell caster and I am very happy to testify of his good work. website : https://drjumbaspellhome.wordpress.com
  • maryjane clement Comment Link
    maryjane clement
    Thursday, 23 September 2021
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  • charming abby Comment Link
    charming abby
    Thursday, 08 July 2021
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  • Elisa Keily Comment Link
    Elisa Keily
    Wednesday, 07 July 2021
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  • jasmine robert Comment Link
    jasmine robert
    Monday, 05 July 2021
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  • novak dj Comment Link
    novak dj
    Wednesday, 26 May 2021
    Am here to testify what this great spell caster done for me. i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my wife have been having a lot of problem living together, she will always not make me happy because she have fallen in love with another man outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my wife leave this woman but the more i talk to her the more she makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because she no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my wife again. this spell caster who was a man told me that my wife is really under a great spell that she have been charm by some magic, so he told me that he was going to make all things normal back. he did the spell on my wife and after 5 days my wife changed completely she even apologize with the way she treated me that she was not her self, i really thank this man his name is Dr ose he have bring back my wife back to me i want you all to contact him who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem he will solve it for you. his email is oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com  he is a man and his  great. wish you good time.
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  • Alma Theresa Comment Link
    Alma Theresa
    Saturday, 17 October 2020
    well what can I say..my now ex-husband cheated on me multiple times in our marriage. Would I just be putting myself in more pain by sitting around? NO!, I contacted a hacker to help me find out everything he is hiding on his phone, this is the hacker’s email: “Jamiehacking99@ Gmail . Com” If you need help too then contact him.
  • Alicia Leonard Comment Link
    Alicia Leonard
    Tuesday, 03 March 2020
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    Good day everybody, My names are Alicia Leonard i am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex husband back. It all started when my husband cheated on me with another woman unknowing to him that the woman is a wizard, the woman castes a spell on my husband which made my husband change his feelings towards me and the kids and broke our 6 years marriage. I was confused and stressed because of the pains of being a single mother, so i called a friend and explained my marital challenges to her, she instructed and directed me to contact this great powerful spell caster called Dr. Raypower, The main reason why she instructed me to contact Dr Raypower was because in recent times she have read some testimonies on the internet which some people has written about the powerful spell caster Dr Raypower and i was so pleased and i decided to seek for assistance from him which he did a perfect job by casting a spell on my husband and utilize the powers of the other woman which made him to come back to me and beg for forgiveness. I will not stop publishing his name on the net because of the good work he is doing. To everyone with marital problem, divorce issues, lost lover or any relationship related issues, you can contact Dr. Raypower the powerful urgent spell caster via details below 
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  • Kelvin Comment Link
    Kelvin
    Friday, 24 January 2020
    This is a testimony about the good work of a man who helped me make my marriage work again. My wife just suddenly hate sex we tried all method non work it became so bad that she had to move out with the kids 12 years and 3 months of marriage. I had to seek for help outside the box, On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for solution I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster called Dr.Wealthy Some people testified that he brought their Ex back, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce. Etc. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called Maria Jose from Atlanta, USA who testified about how Dr.Wealthy brought back her husband in less than 72 hours that got me intrigue. After reading all these,I decided to give Dr.Wealthy a try I contacted him and explained my problem to him. In just 6 days, my wife did not only came back to me but she now love sex and she is no longer scared of it. Dr.Wealthy is really a gifted man and i will not stop talking about him because he is a wonderful man. If you have any problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you Dr.Wealthy is the answer to your problem.

    Here’s his contact.. wealthylovespell@gmail.com or +2348105150446.
  • Olivia Hannah Comment Link
    Olivia Hannah
    Wednesday, 08 January 2020
    Hi everyone I'm Olivia Hannah and am here to share the wonderful work Dr Raypower did for me. After 5 years in marriage with my husband with 2 kids, my husband started acting weird and going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet called Dr. Raypower who help people with relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a love spell and within 48hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with other ladies and his with me for good and for real. Contact this great love spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem to be solved today via email: Urgentspellcast@gmail.com or Urgentspellcast@yahoo.com or Call or WhatsApp: +14243308109. 

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