My Husband May Be An Addict. Help!

Abigale Hassel
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Question:

 

I need some serious help. I found out my husband has been using drugs a few weeks ago and we have been arguing and fussing at each other since. Before this we were very happy but now all we do is argue. Help.

 

Answer: 

 

If you are dealing with an addict, and it sounds as if you may be, you need to understand a few things. You are no longer dealing with a rational thinker. Drug addicts have what is referred to as "stinking thinking" or distorted thinking. Once an addict becomes addicted to drugs, all he can think about is how to get his high. Addicts lie, scheme, manipulate, all for the sole purpose of getting the fix. They may have spurts of lucidity in which they realize they are destroying their lives and hurting those around them, but ultimately, that need to get the fix is their driving force. 

Unfortunately, until an addict hits some type of rock bottom, no amount of arguing will make a difference. Drug addicts cannot take responsibility for their actions until and unless they are clean and sober. My advice to you is to stop engaging in arguments. I suggest that you find an AL ANON meeting near you. You need to learn how you may be enabling his behavior, but  that is not to say that you are responsible for his actions. However, sometimes, family members can inadvertently allow or encourage the behavior by being passive. You need to decide what boundaries you need to draw with him. Without having specific details of your situation, it is difficult for me to advise much further, but, generally, I can tell you that he will not stop without some type of help.
 
To find an AL ANON meeting near you, follow this link: http://www.al-anon.org .  You cannot make him stop. This he must decide for himself. I wish you all the best. God bless.
 
Abigale Hassel

Abigale S. Hassel is a licensed Clinical Social Worker, and individual and couples counselor. MSW, LCSW, OSW-C.

**The advice provided represents the opinions of the author.  It is not to be considered therapy or professional advice of any kind.  If you require such advice, you should consult an appropriate professional.  Refer to the Marriage Rocks Website Terms and Conditions (link in page footer) for other applicable terms and conditions.**

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