Should I leave...?

Question:
 
I've been married for almost 10 years and am a pastor's wife.  There was an incident that put our marriage at stake.  I am ashamed of what people around me think because of the incident. Because of it,  I am considering going back to my hometown for good and taking our child, leaving my husband.  Is my decision correct? Please help me.
 
Answer: 
 
It is difficult for me to answer this completely, given the fact that I do not know the circumstances about which you are speaking, but I will try to answer in a general way. It seems to me that you are trying to escape a very unpleasant situation. One thing I can tell you for certain is this. We cannot outrun our feelings or our problems. If you do not stay and deal with them, they will certainly follow you in some way, shape or form. I can also tell you that all of us are responsible for our own thoughts, feelings and behaviors and no one else's. We are not responsible for other people's actions or mistakes. Other people's shame does not have to be ours. All we can do is take responsibility for our own feelings by expressing them appropriately, even if that means holding others accountable for their bad behavior. If you are running from other people's shame, stop and ask yourself whether that will really benefit you or your child. I hope that helped and I wish you all the best. God bless!
 
Abigale Hassel

Abigale S. Hassel is a licensed Clinical Social Worker, and individual and couples counselor. MSW, LCSW, OSW-C.

**The advice provided represents the opinions of the author.  It is not to be considered therapy or professional advice of any kind.  If you require such advice, you should consult an appropriate professional.  Refer to the Marriage Rocks Website Terms and Conditions (link in page footer) for other applicable terms and conditions.**

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